And Nobody Got Hurt! Read online

  What’s the record for most pitches in one at bat in the major leagues? On June 26, 1998, Bartolo Colon of the Cleveland Indians threw twenty pitches to Ricky Gutierrez of the Houston Astros—strike, strike, foul, ball, foul, ball, foul, foul, foul, foul, foul, foul, ball, foul, foul, foul, foul, foul, foul, strikeout!

  Oops! In the fourth inning of an August 2000 game at Shea Stadium, the San Francisco Giants had runners on second and third. The batter hit a routine fly ball to left and Mets left fielder Benny Agbayani caught it. Thinking it was the third out, Benny handed the ball to a seven-year-old boy in the stands. But it was only the second out.…

  When he realized what he’d done, Benny grabbed the ball out of the boy’s hand and threw home, but two runs came in on the play when only one should have scored. Luckily for Benny, the Mets still won the game, 3–2.

  Some people think every baseball player makes millions of dollars. Not true, especially in the minor leagues. When playing at home, if a player on the El Paso Diablos hits a home run, fans drop dollar bills in a batting helmet for the player to keep! Fans also stick dollar bills in the screen behind home plate. The player walks along plucking the dollars out.

  Hit a homer in El Paso and you really become the “cleanup hitter!”

  At a 1985 minor league baseball game in Clearwater, Florida, organist Wilbur Snapp didn’t like an umpire’s call at first base. … So he played “Three Blind Mice” on his organ. The umpires were not amused. They proceeded to throw the organist out of the game!

  In May 2004, superstar Sammy Sosa injured himself when he sneezed twice while bent over in the Chicago clubhouse, sending his back into spasms and taking him out of the Cubs lineup.

  But if you think sneezing is a strange way to injure yourself, Hall of Fame third baseman Wade Boggs once missed a week after injuring himself while pulling on a pair of cowboy boots. And legendary Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz once scalded his chest while ironing a shirt—one that he was actually wearing!

  What are the strangest on-the-field injuries?

  St. Louis Cardinals star base stealer Vince Coleman missed the 1985 World Series after he was run over by a tarp. Vince was stretching before Game Four of the National League playoffs when someone on the grounds crew activated a machine that automatically rolls up the 120-foot tarpaulin which covers the infield during pregame warm-ups and rain delays. Unfortunately, he didn’t see that Coleman was standing near the tarp. The heavy cylinder rolled over his leg, badly bruising him and chipping a bone in his left knee. Vince was carried off the field on a stretcher, “that tarp was a real man-eater,” Coleman joked afterward.

  Tagg Bozied, star first baseman for the Portland Beavers minor league club, hit a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth for a come-from-behind 8–5 win in July 2004. As he rounded third base he saw his teammates gathered around home plate to celebrate. When Bozied reached the plate he jumped for joy, the way big leaguers do… and blacked out. He’d ruptured a tendon in his left knee and was out for the rest of the season. “To go from hitting a walk off home run to being wheeled off the field in an ambulance, it’s unbelievable,” Bozied said.

  But perhaps the weirdest baseball injury of all time happened to pitcher Clarence “Climax” Blethen, a thirty-year-old rookie for the 1923 Boston Red Sox. Clarence thought he’d look tougher if he took out his false teeth when he pitched, so he kept them in his back pocket. During a game in September, Blethen got on base but forgot to put his teeth back in. So when he slid into second attempting to break up a double play, Clarence bit himself in the butt.

  Early in a June 2001 game in Pittsburgh, Pirates manager Lloyd McClendon had protested a couple of calls made by the first base umpire. But when he came out of the dugout in the seventh inning to argue a close play, the umpire ejected him. So McClendon picked up the first base bag and took it with him. He’s got to be the first manager to ever steal first!

  Did you hear the one about the runner on second who tried to steal first?

  It happened on August 13, 1902. In the sixth inning of a game between the Philadelphia Athletics and the Detroit Tigers, Harry Davis of the A’s was on first and Dave Fultz was on third. Davis and Fultz tried a delayed double steal-Davis took off for second, trying to draw a throw that would allow the runner on third to score. But Davis’s steal didn’t draw a throw from the Tigers, and Fultz had to remain at third.

  On the next pitch Davis headed back to first base! Again, there was no throw from the stunned Tigers catcher. So Davis stole second again, and this time the frustrated catcher tried to nail him. Fultz was able to steal home and Davis was safe at second. Was this a double steal or a quadruple steal?

  EXTRA INNINGS

  A fair ball has never been hit clear out of Yankee Stadium.

  In May 1882, umpire James Hickey called out Cleveland outfielder John Richmond for going outside the base path while running to first base on a walk.

  In a 1917 World Series game, Chicago White Sox pitcher Red Faber tried to steal third base even though a teammate was already standing there.

  In the seventh inning of a 1959 game, the Chicago White Sox scored 11 runs on just 1 base hit… along with 10 walks, 3 errors, and one hit batter.

  Minor leaguer John Neves wore a backward 7 as his uniform number because Neves is “seven” spelled backwards. And in 1978, Al Oliver wore the number 0 on his Texas Rangers uniform.

  The first grand slam of Sammy Sosa’s career was his 246th career homer. So when did Sammy hit his second grand slam? The next day.

  The oldest man to hit a major-league home run is 46-year-old Jack Quinn, a pitcher for the 1930 Philadelphia Athletics.

  Tony Cloninger, a pitcher for the Milwaukee Braves, hit two grand slams in one game on July 3, 1966.

  In his first major league at bat, pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm hit a home run. It was his only home run in a 21-year career.

  During his record 56-game hitting streak in 1941, Joe DiMaggio hit 56 singles and scored 56 runs.

  Chicago Cubs’ Jim “Hippo” Vaughn and Cincinnati Reds’ Fred Toney pitched the only double no-hitter in major-league history on May 2, 1917. In the tenth inning, Vaughn gave up 2 hits and a run and lost the game.

  FOOTBALL

  Who came up with this sport, you might ask? Nobody is quite sure.

  There’s some evidence that the Chinese played a game similar to football back in 200 B.C.! That must have been interesting. I’m guessing they didn’t have uniforms, cheerleaders, or goalposts. But who really knows?

  Let’s start with the obvious. Football is one of the sports in which the ball isn’t round. So footballs just don’t roll along the ground, as in other sports. At times, chasing a loose football resembles a greased watermelon contest.

  I’ve seen guys run the wrong way for “touchdowns” and I’ve seen them spike the ball in celebration before they’ve reached the end zone.

  Players do all kinds of things in the end zone after scoring touchdown’s. Most of them dance, but one guy grabbed a cell phone in the end zone to call home and say, “Look at me!”

  And they don’t have rainouts in football. I’ve seen a game played during a monsoon where pieces of equipment went floating down the field!

  Of course, football fans do plenty of wacky things as well … like running on the field trying to steal the football. Not real bright, especially when a three-hundred-pound lineman smashes them into the ground.

  So let’s put on the pads and get ready for the kickoff to some fantastic football follies.

  On the first play of an October 1997 Wichita, Kansas, high school game, the quarterback suddenly stopped barking signals and yelled out that he had the wrong football. He said it wasn’t the game ball, it was a practice ball. His coach shouted, “Hey, I’ve got the right ball over here.”

  The quarterback started walking over to his coach. But as he walked past the line of scrimmage, the quarterback took off and started running full speed with the “wrong” ball. He went all the way for a touchdown—and it co
unted!

  Is this coach crazy? With just seven seconds left in a football game in Mississippi, Tishomingo High School was beating Faulkner High, 16–14. But Coach Dave Herbert knew that Tishomingo needed to win the game by four or more points to qualify for the state play-offs. So he ordered his quarterback—who was also his son—to turn and run into his own end zone for a safety.

  His astonished quarterback did as he was told and after the safety the game was tied, 16–16. Then came overtime, and Tishomingo won the game 22–16—enough to send Coach Herbert’s team to the state playoffs!

  Turk Edwards is now a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but he left the game after one of the goofiest injuries in the history of sports.

  As captain of his Washington Redskins team, Edwards would meet the referee and the opposing captain in the center of the field before each game for the coin toss to decide who would receive the opening kickoff. Early in the 1940 season, Edwards turned to go back to the sidelines after a coin toss, and his cleats caught in the turf. He was carried off the field with a badly injured left knee. Amazingly, he never recovered, and his twelve-year career was over!

  During a September 2000 game at Oregon State, a possum wandered onto the field. Then he started running down the field. …

  The television play-by-play from Tom Kelly and Craig Fertig was terrific: “He’s just over the 50… at the 45, nobody going after him. He’s on a breakaway at the 40… the 35. To the cheers of 41,000, he’s at the 25. He’s a straight-line runner, doesn’t have many moves. He doesn’t need them.

  Do you think anyone’s going after him? Look at the crowd, the crowd’s going crazy! He’s breaking to the outside, smells the goal line. Touchdown!”

  That day, Oregon State beat USC for the first time in thirty-three years. It must have been that good-luck possum!

  Can you pass the ball to yourself?

  In 1959, the Cleveland Browns were playing the Chicago Cardinals. Browns quarterback Milt Plum tried to pass, but a Chicago defender blocked the throw. Fortunately, the ball bounced back to Plum, who caught it and ran for a twenty-yard gain.

  Who’s got the ball?

  During a Kentucky vs. Tennessee college football game, a runner fumbled the ball near the Kentucky bench. As people on the sidelines tried to get out of the way, a large box filled with footballs was knocked over and eight of them rolled onto the field. Naturally, players from both teams fought to recover all of the balls. When the play was over, the referee couldn’t tell which ball was the official game ball.

  He eventually decided to give possession to Tennessee. His reasoning? Well, the Tennessee players had five of the nine footballs, while the Kentucky players got only four!

  In October 1989, the folks at Portland State University in Oregon had an unusual idea for a football game. Each fan received a card that said RUN and another that said PASS. Each fan held up one of the cards. The majority ruled, and the offense ran the play the fans selected.

  It didn’t work very well. I guess Portland State was playing a team whose defense could read!

  In an October 1990 college football game in Westchester, New York, Iona kicker Eric Menocal went back to punt. Unfortunately, the snap hit the ground and then Menocal bobbled it. When he finally kicked the football it went straight up in the air. The punt came down behind the line of scrimmage and teammate Tom Kelleher caught it on a fly. He started running and made it into the end zone for a touchdown. And it counted!

  What was the shortest punt ever?

  In a 1965 Massachusetts game against Amherst College, Tufts University kicker Jay Estabrook was asked to punt. Kicking into a 25 mph wind, the ball blew right back at him. Estabrook caught his own punt and was tackled for a four-yard loss.

  What’s the weirdest touchdown in football history?

  In December 2000, Central College of Iowa was playing football at Linfield College in McMinnville, Oregon. The game went into overtime and Linfield kicked a field goal to lead by three points. In the last few seconds of the overtime period, Central College lined up to kick a field goal which would have tied the game. When Linfield blocked the kick, all of the players on the Linfield sidelines went running onto the field to celebrate what they thought was a win. The crowd of 2,500 happy Linfield fans was jumping for joy. But while they were rejoicing, a Central player picked up the loose ball and ran for the winning touchdown!

  During the final moments of a November 20, 1982 game, Stanford University scored a touchdown to take the lead over archrival University of California at Berkeley, 20–19. With just seconds left to play, Stanford kicked off. The ball was caught by a Cal player named Kevin Moen. As he was about to be tackled, Moen threw a lateral pass to a teammate. By this time the clock had run out, but in football the game is not over until the final play is complete. So, to keep the play alive, Cal players continued to lateral the ball again and again to avoid being tackled.

  Meanwhile, thinking the game was over, the Stanford band marched onto the field. By this time, Kevin Moen had retrieved the ball. He darted among the surprised band members and even ran over a trombone player in the end zone. Moen scored the winning touchdown, one of the craziest ever, winning the game for California 25–20!

  What about the trombone player? Fortunately, nobody got hurt!

  In the closing seconds of a December 2002 Washington State Championship semifinal game, Lynden Christian High School had the ball and Was leading Elma High by a score of 19–14. The quarterback took the snap and intentionally ran back toward his own end zone to run out the clock. Time ran out as the Lynden quarterback crossed the goal line, so he just dropped the ball on the turf. He thought the game was over.

  Wrong. An Elma player picked up the ball that was on the ground and it was the winning touch down! The final score—Elma 20, Lynden Christian 19.

  In November 2002, Louisiana State University was playing at the University of Kentucky. With just two seconds to go and the home team leading 30–27, the Kentucky players gave Coach Guy Morriss the traditional Gatorade shower on the sidelines. Students were poised to tear down the goalposts. But then LSU pulled the old Hail Mary play— a last second desperation heave into the end zone while the quarterback and the rest of his team pray that they complete it.

  LSU’s prayers were answered and they won the game 33–30. As for Kentucky—oops!

  It was September 11,1995, and the Chicago Bears were playing the Green Bay Packers at Soldier Field, Chicago. In the third quarter, Kevin Butler kicked an extra point for Chicago, and Bears fan Mike Pantazis leaped from his seat in the end zone, right above one of the tunnels leading to the exits. Mike timed his jump perfectly, caught the ball in midair, and fell twenty feet to the concrete below. And he didn’t get hurt!

  The game was being broadcast on Monday Night Football, and 42 million people watched the slow-motion replay. Later, Mike was interviewed on the sidelines, where he said that his high school football coach always claimed he had good hands.

  On Thanksgiving Day 1998, the Detroit Lions and Pittsburgh Steelers were getting ready for overtime. Back judge Phil Luckett tossed the coin to see who would get the ball first, and Jerome Bettis of the Steelers called “tails.” Somehow, Luckett thought Bettis had called “heads,” and when the coin landed on tails he awarded the ball to Detroit, even though Pittsburgh had really won the toss.

  The Lions then marched down the field and kicked the winning field goal.

  On October 20, 2002, during a New Orleans Saints game against the San Francisco 49ers, a fan ran onto the field and joined the 49ers huddle. He just stood there, pen in hand, offering his autograph to the San Francisco players.

  They declined his invitation, and he was arrested for trespassing.

  In September 1996, Ohio State hosted Pittsburgh in college football and the Buckeyes won 72–0.

  How bad was it? Well, for one punt return, Ohio State had only eight men on the field. But with only seven of his teammates to block eleven Pitt Panthers, David Boston caught the pun
t and raced sixty-six yards for a touchdown!

  You think that was a lopsided game?

  Back in 1916, the powerful Georgia Tech team was coached by the legendary John Heisman, for whom the Heisman Trophy is named. The Heisman Trophy is awarded each year to the most outstanding college football player in the country.

  On October 7th, Georgia Tech defeated little Cumberland University by a score of 222–0. This game was so one-sided that Tech set the record for most touchdowns in a game—thirty-two—and Cumberland never even managed a first down. In fact, neither team made a first down—Tech scored every time it got the ball!

  Things got so bad that late in the game a Cumberland runner fumbled the ball. As it rolled toward his teammate B. F. Paty, the fumbler shouted, “Pick it up!” and Paty replied, “Pick it up yourself—you dropped it!”

  O.J. McLintock was a terrific high school quarterback from Round Rock, Texas. In a game in September 1998, McLintock took the ball himself and went weaving through the entire defense. They couldn’t get hold of him. But they did somehow manage to grab the back of his athletic supporter. In fact, they were able to pull it completely out of his pants. And as they did the fabric began to unravel like a ball of string.

  O.J. went all the way for the touchdown, and all that the defense had to show for their efforts were the threads of his jock strap!

  In a November 1989 football game in Iowa, the Graceland College team was kicking for an extra point after a touchdown. The ball bounced off the upright and came directly back to the player who’d held the ball for the kicker. He took the ball and ran it into the end zone. Graceland thought they’d scored two points. They were wrong; the play did not count, but the holder should have gotten extra points for creativity!